Christopher Robin is the latest film in the Winnie the Pooh franchise, and tells the story of an adult Christopher Robin, who forgets about his childhood friends Winnie the Pooh and company, but reunites with them during a tough situation with his family, and Pooh and friends must show Christopher Robin what it is like to be a child again. So I was excited with the fact that Disney was putting out a live-action Winnie the Pooh movie, but when I saw the trailer, I wasn't that interested. Oh how did the trailer represent this movie quite well! This is a boring, SLOW movie! I had trouble staying awake through this. I hate to say that, because I wanted to love this movie, I love the Winnie the Pooh characters, the original Winnie the Pooh film Disney did in the 70's, and the 2011 Winnie the Pooh are some of the best stuff Disney has ever put out! I am baffled by how boring this movie was! Disney really needs to step up their game, because holy shit, they are not doing that great! I mean, I highly enjoyed Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, and Ant-Man and the Wasp, but guess what, THOSE WERE ALL MARVEL MOVIES!!!! It seems like Disney only put effort in their Marvel movies this year! This movie moved at a snails pace! This movie doesn't know what audience to aim for, it is too slow for kids, and too uninteresting for adults. Pooh and friends never go on interesting adventures like they usually do, Christopher Robin and other human characters are so fucking bland, I just did not give a shit about anything that went on during this film! Let's talk about the audience I saw this movie with! The theater was PACKED, pretty much every single seat was taken. The children in the audience were not having a good time, they were restless, constantly asking their parents how long the movie was (this movie is 2 whole hours) and running around the theater, quite a few adults fell asleep too. Walking out of the movie, a friend I was with including me and several other audience members all said "thank fuck it's over!" I can't wait for the Rotten Tomatoes score comes out tomorrow, I hope to god it is rotten. This movie isn't shot like a kids movie, it is shot like a hipster indie film. Also, this movie takes this shot directly out of Man of Steel and Gladiator, where Pooh is walking in this field, and puts out his arm and moves it across the grass there, and it looks EXACTLY the same as those other 2 movies I had mentioned. This film also had one of the dumbest moments in any film this year too. I will spoil this shit, I don't care, because none of you should waste your money on this piece of shit! There is a scene where Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga and Roo don't believe that Christopher Robin really is who he says he is, and I shit you not that he fights an invisible Heffalump! Yes, that happens in this movie, and it is as stupid as it sounds! Christopher Robin is also kind of an asshole towards Pooh at one point in the movie. We all know how absent minded Pooh is, well at one point in the movie when they first reunite, Christopher Robin somehow forgot how Pooh was and acts like a total jerk towards him. It felt way out of character for Christopher Robin, adult or not. This next issue I have is not a huge issue, but it really bothered me. Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore look like live-action versions of their animated Disney selves, but Rabbit and Owl, for some reason, look like an actual rabbit and an actual owl. I don't know, that was very distracting to me. I do have a couple of positives though, in terms of characters, Pooh and friends I have no issue with, they were perfectly fine, Eeyore was surprisingly the standout of them all. I was expecting Tigger to be because he is my favorite character in the franchise. Also, I like some of the sarcasm that comes from Pooh in this movie at some points in the film, I was shocked by how sarcastic Pooh got sometimes in this movie. I am going to end it here, because I have nothing else to say. Christopher Robin is an unbelievable disappointment. I will admit it isn't as bad as movies like A Wrinkle in Time, Solo and Super Troopers 2, but oh my god this was still pretty awful. It is a total snoozefest, kids didn't like it, adults didn't like it, this is one movie that I totally understand why they don't like it.
Rating: D-
MPAA: PG (for some action)
Run time: 105 min
Studio: Disney
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