I am in the mood to talk about a bad movie right now, so I am going to review The Amazing Spider-Man, the worst Spider-Man movie ever made! Yes, it's worse than Spider-Man 3! And guess what people, get pissed off, I enjoyed Spider-Man 3, it's not a great film, but it was a very enjoyable film! Even though I do think of this movie as a bad, disappointing film, there are 3 things that I liked about it. First of all, the chemistry between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy was not that bad at all, when there was action in this movie, the action was really good (for the most part), and when Andrew Garfield was being Spider-Man, he was okay! Now for the meat of this review, the negatives! Okay, so remember when I said Andrew Garfield was okay as Spider-Man? He was, he was likable as Spider-Man, but when he is just being Peter Parker, oh boy, he was fucking awful! He is a douchebag, there was never a scene in the entire movie that gives us a reason to like Peter Parker, he is also a stalker, and he also acts like he has a hangover in almost every scene he is in. Now I said the action is really good, but I also said for the most part. There is almost no action in the first 94 minutes of this movie and the first couple action moments (that's right, MOMENTS! It takes 94 fucking minutes to get to the first real action sequence in this movie!) were dull and flat! This is not a colorful movie, this is a really colorless movie, and for a character as colorful as Spider-Man, that's pretty sad. Now remember how quippy Spider-Man is? Remember how Spider-Man likes to tell jokes? Not in this movie, despite how likable Spider-Man was, there was only 1 scene in this entire movie that had him telling jokes! 1....fucking....scene! Let's talk about character development, what character development? I love Emma Stone, but what the hell, she is given nothing to work with here, her character is not developed whatsoever. Lizard in this movie is by far one of the worst developed villains in ANY of the Spider-Man movies! He has absolutely zero motivations for him being a bad guy, and his plan is one of the most hilariously idiotic plans I have ever witnessed in a superhero movie! Another problem I had with this movie was Spider-Man's suit! It looked like shit! And I have heard people argue that he was poor, how could he afford a really nice suit? Well if he was so poor, how could he afford material for his webs that is so strong that it could damage property with ease and also hold up vehicles that are falling off a bridge without it ever ripping? I think if he can afford that shit, he can easily afford a much better suit! Now for the ending, so in the comics, Gwen Stacy's dad wanted Peter to protect Gwen, but in this movie, her father wants Peter to stay away from her, what the fuck? I am not one to say that changes from source material is a bad thing because good adaptations do change shit from the source material to make it their own thing, but this specifically was not a good change because one reason, it turned out to be pointless right at the closing scene, and another reason, there is a lot of cringy bullshit involving that shit in The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
In the end, The Amazing Spider-Man was a terrible film, a lot of people seem to enjoy it for some reason, but for me personally, it comes close to being garbage, and the only reason I am not giving it an F is because of the very few redeeming qualities it has.
Grade: D
Run time: 136 minutes
MPAA: PG-13 for sequences of action and violence
Studio: Sony/Columbia Pictures, Marvel Entertainment
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