Mortal Kombat - Movie Review

 Mortal Kombat (2021)

Mortal Kombat is the newest adaptation of the popular video game franchise. It was released on April 23rd, 2021 and received mixed reviews from critics. The plot of the film is a group of remaining champions are rounded up as they are being hunted down by SubZero, and they must train to gain their powers to stop him.

THE GOOD

Mortal Kombat is 2 hours of glorious gore and action. The movie may be dumb, but wow is it entertaining! The action sequences and violence never disappoint! The fight choreography is fantastic and the violence is extremely gory and satisfying. Not only is the action extremely entertaining but there's also a lot of it, this movie is action packed! If you're looking for a good action filled movie to be entertained by, Mortal Kombat is definitely a great choice! The tone of the movie is fucking amazing, mainly because of SubZero, whenever he's on screen, there's almost always this horror movie vibe going on, the atmosphere kicks up into high gear and I really loved it! The acting is pretty good for the most part, Josh Lawson as Kano absolutely carried this movie! Kano was hilarious and was great in the action sequences! Another standout was Joe Taslim as SubZero, he doesn't have much dialogue but holy shit he was so fucking cool! A lot of the best action sequences in the film involve SubZero! The visuals are fantastic, the film is colorful, they don't just go for a dull color pallet simply because it's a movie aimed at an adult audience. The movie is extremely fast paced, there isn't a single moment where this movie drags.

THE BAD

I do have a couple of problems with the film. I thought Cole Young (the main character of the movie) and Sonya Blade were extremely one note and uninteresting. They get a few cool moments here and there, but there's nothing at all to their characters. Also I wish the movie would have also went deeper into the lore of the characters, you get it with Scorpion and SubZero, but not as much with the rest. I really hope the sequel dives deeper into the characters.

CONCLUSION

Character flaws aside, Mortal Kombat was a great time! It's got the action, the gore, it's funny and it's got a great tone to it. I'm excited for the sequel, I was really surprised how good this movie was!

GRADE:  A-

FILM INFO

MPA rating:  R (for strong bloody violence and language throughout, and some crude references)

Run time:  110 min

Release date:  April 23rd, 2021

Studio:  Warner Bros. Pictures

Iron Man - Movie Review

 Iron Man (2008)

Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm doing something special here, in honor of Black Widow (hopefully) coming out in July, I'll be reviewing the MCU films (or try to at least) leading up to it! This is going to be great because this franchise is something special to me! I've been watching these films since day one! I was 8 years old when Iron Man came out and when I saw this in theaters with my dad when it came out, I loved it then and I still love it now! Iron Man was released in 2008 and was the film that started the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it was directed by Jon Favreau and starts Robert Downey Jr. as the titular character Tony Stark/Iron Man, which is definitely his most iconic role.

THE GOOD

Iron Man in my opinion still ranks as one of the best films in the entire franchise! This film is action packed, funny, has an amazing, compelling story and features one hell of a performance from Robert Downey Jr. The film is extremely well paced, there's never a dull moment at any time. The story is extremely compelling, I loved every character, and the story is so compelling because of the complete character growth of Tony Stark throughout the movie! I loved how Tony Stark doesn't start out as a superhero at all, he's completely carefree, all he cares about is money and pussy and shit like that. Once he gets held captive by middle eastern terrorists, that's when he really starts growing as a character, and I loved the entire process of him becoming Iron Man! Part of why the story is so compelling is because the writing is so strong! The dialogue is so good! The action sequences are fucking badass! The cave breakout sequence, when he goes back to the middle east to take out some bad guys, and the climax, everything is so white knuckled and exciting! Robert Downey Jr.'s performance as Tony Stark is nothing short of legendary, he's witty, charismatic, and his comedic timing is perfect! I loved the use of comedy in this film, it's funny without compromising the serious moments in the film.

THE BAD

My only real issue is that even though I actually really liked the villain played by Jeff Bridges, I didn't care for the fact that he basically becomes just evil version of Iron Man for the climax. It's probably just me but I just find that to be the last interesting way to have a final showdown in a movie.

CONCLUSION

As I said, Iron Man is still one of the best films in the MCU and still remains my favorite pre-Avengers MCU film. The film is packed with fun action, the acting is strong, the writing is very well done, and the film is funny and compelling!

GRADE:  A

FILM INFO

MPA rating:  PG-13 (for some intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, and brief suggestive content)

Run time:  126 min

Release date:  May 2nd, 2008

Studio:  Paramount Pictures, Marvel Studios

The Unholy - Movie Review

 The Unholy (2021)

The Unholy is a new horror movie out in theaters now, produced by Sam Raimi and stars Jeffrey Dean Morgan (from Watchmen and The Walking Dead). The movie tells the story of a deaf woman who supposedly gains the power of the Virgin Mary and begins performing miracles on the people around her, but little does she now that it's actually a much more sinister supernatural force. The film was released on April 2nd, 2021, and was met with negative reviews from critics.

THE GOOD

Well, the cinematography was nice at times, the final act got somewhat interesting I guess.

THE BAD

This was a very, very, very dull film. This film was not scary in the slightest, and mainly consists of pointless exposition. I haven't been this bored though a horror movie since The Craft: Legacy and The Grudge (2020). All this movie has for scares is jump scares, that's fucking it! No tension, no atmosphere, not a fucking thing other than jump scares! If you like a horror movie that contains more journalism and investigating than actual horror? The Unholy is the movie for you! Every performance was very bland, come fucking on, you got JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN in this movie, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE HIM BORING IN A MOVIE? I want to fucking know how the director of this movie managed to do that. This movie doesn't even feel like a theatrical movie, it felt like a very low budget Lifetime film! Let's talk about the CGI in this movie. Good fucking lord it looked fucking awful! It was downright laughable. 

CONCLUSION

Wow there wasn't much to talk about, this movie just offered nothing! The Unholy is a completely unsatisfying, unscary, boring film! It was an absolute waste of time. It isn't the worst film of 2021 but wow it definitely didn't stand out as anything good. Thanks to a dogshit script and lazy filmmaking, The Unholy was an unholy mess.

GRADE:  D-

FILM INFO

Rating:  PG-13 (for violent content, terror and some strong language)

Run time:  100 min

Release date:  April 2nd, 2021

Studio:  Screen Gems

Nobody - Movie Review

 Nobody (2021)

Nobody is a new action thriller from Ilya Naishuller (the director of the fantastic and highly underrated Hardcore Henry) and stars Bob Odenkirk as an ordinary family man who after helping a stranger being harassed by a group of strangers, must let out some old demons after finding out a vengeful drug lord is after him. The film did surprisingly well at the box office considering the COVID-19 pandemic and was well received by critics.

THE GOOD

This was a damn good action film! The story, while nothing original, was always interesting and never lost my attention. There was never a dull moment in this film because it was paced so well, it's extremely fast paced. Bob Odenkirk acts his ass off in this film! He is fantastic in the dramatic moments and he is EXCELLENT in the action sequences. Christopher Lloyd is in this film too, and even he gets time to shine in the action, which was awesome as far as I'm concerned! The action sequences were orgasmic! They were extremely well shot, they are absolutely brutal and violent and bloody. Just a warning for people who are squeamish, if you don't like gore and brutal violence, prepare for gore and brutal violence if you decide to watch this film. The script is really good, there's lots of great dialogue and some really great subtle humor sprinkled in, I loved that this film didn't take itself so seriously. This movie also has a great soundtrack, it has by far the best use of Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar that I can recall being in a movie! This movie was just pure fun and was definitely needed during these troubled times!

THE BAD

Like I said before, there's nothing original about this movie, which wasn't a major issue for me because the movie is executed and written so well that the lack of originality didn't bother me at all. My only real issue with the film was that the villain was kind of weak, some improvement could have been made there.

CONCLUSION

Nobody is an extremely entertaining, fast paced, hyper violent action movie that I definitely recommend seeing! The action sequences are worth the price of admission alone, Bob Odenkirk gives a wonderful performance and I really want to see him do more action stuff! It was a quick sit, it's only 92 minutes long so it definitely never overstayed its welcome! As for Ilya Naishuller, please make some more action movies! This was another great effort, keep them coming!

GRADE:  A-

FILM INFO

MPA rating:  R (for strong violence and bloody images, language throughout and brief drug use)

Run time:  92 min

Release date:  March 26th, 2021

Studio:  Universal Pictures

Zack Snyder's Justice League - Movie Review *Spoiler Free*

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

Zack Snyder's Justice League is the long awaited director's cut to the 2017 film. The film stars Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, Henry Cavill, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, among many others. Directed by Zack Snyder. The film was released on March 18th, 2021 on HBO Max.

THE GOOD

After the abysmal Wonder Woman 1984 left a terrible taste in my mouth, I didn't think I could sit through a DC film for a while, and how bad the original theatrical version was. I am glad to say that this movie was fucking fantastic! I loved every fucking minute of it! This movie was so much fun, the 4 hours flew by. This movie had fantastic action sequences, great visuals, everyone gives great performances, and the story was much more engaging this time around! The characters are far better developed here, Cyborg gets some incredible development, Batman isn't just a joke here like he was in the other version, Ben Affleck brings his A game here as the character as he did in BvS. Ray Fisher is fucking fantastic as Cyborg, mainly because he's not getting the fucking shaft this time like he did in the Whedon version. I LOVED Steppenwolf in this film, he's greatly improved as a villain, he actually has a character to him this time, he isn't just spewing stock villain dialogue, he looks much better and he's actually intimidating! The cinematography is wonderful, there are so many wonderful, breathtaking shots in this movie, especially with the action. Speaking of action, the action sequences are fucking fantastic! Just like Man of Steel and Batman v Superman, Zack Snyder really knows how to create some exhilarating, larger than life, visually pleasing action sequences. By far the best was Steppenwolf's attack on the Amazonians, the scene was fine in the Whedon version but it was AWESOME in this version. This film is rated R, you get some blood in this movie, and the violence is more brutal this time. This movie isn't gory like other Snyder films such as Watchmen or 300, but the violence is bloodier this time, it was great! At 4 hours, this film moves by incredibly fast! The pacing is flawless! The musical score by Junkie XL is fucking eargasmic! This was easily the best musical score in the DCEU since Hans Zimmer's score for Man of Steel. The ending was incredible too!

THE BAD

I do have a couple of issues, granted not huge ones. The movie does have a few moments of stilted dialogue in the first hour, and some of the music choices were kinda iffy.

CONCLUSION

Zack Snyder's Justice League is the movie we deserved back in 2017. This film is infinitely better in every aspect. The action is exciting, the performances are fantastic, the story was always interesting and the movie is paced beautifully! I think it's wonderful that Zack Snyder finally got to make the movie he wanted to make! Thank you Warner Bros for finally letting a director fulfill their vision!

GRADE:  A

FILM INFO

Rating:  R (for violence and some language)

Run time:  242 min

Release date:  March 18th, 2021

Studio:  Warner Bros. Pictures

 

Tom and Jerry - Movie Review

 Tom and Jerry (2021)

Tom and Jerry is the first attempt in 29 years to bring the beloved characters to the big screen. The film was directed by Tim Story and stars Chloe Grace-Moretz, Michael Pena, Ken Jeong and more. The film tells the story of Tom being hired by hotel management to take out Jerry in order to prevent a rich couple's wedding from going downhill.

THE GOOD

I mean this movie does a better job at being faithful to the original cartoons than the 1992 film did. People got paid, people were employed at least.

THE BAD

Alright, here we go, time for what I've been waiting for! This movie was a massive piece of shit! I hated this fucking movie! This movie was 101 minutes of cringe, boredom and annoyance, and Warner Bros. jerking themselves off. I knew I was in trouble when the movie began with rapping pigeons. None of the comedy worked..at all. The slapstick was very poorly executed, and all of the other humor consists of poop, farts, and forced awkward moments that apparently were supposed to be funny. None of the cast give good performances, they all look so bored with the material they were given and were obviously only caring about those nice paychecks they were given. This film also pulls a Michael Bay Transformers as it focuses on the humans rather than the thing we fucking paid to see this movie for! I am not kidding, you barely get Tom and Jerry in this movie! The animation is very weird looking, while at times it looks okay I guess, most of the time it sticks out like a sore thumb, the cartoon characters don't blend in to the environment, I wasn't convinced that they were actually a part of this world. If you want a movie that has cartoon characters and real people interacting with each other and the cartoons actually blend in with the environment, watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit. This movie also has terrible messages for children. So Chloe Grace Moretz's character (who is the main character instead of Tom and Jerry) is a character who gets this job at the hotel, but she gets it by stealing a resume from another person hoping to get the job. So what this movie is teaching children that if you hope to get a job you want in the future, you must steal and be dishonest. Not only does this movie give terrible messages to children, but it treats them like idiots, especially with the comedy, and the fact that those dumbass rapping pigeons actually guide them through the movie recapping everything that's been going on in the story like as if kids aren't capable of following a plot. Remember how bad of a review I gave for SCOOB! last year? This movie makes that look like a fucking masterpiece, and this might actually be worse than the 1992 film.

CONCLUSION

Tom and Jerry was an absolute trainwreck. Don't take your kids to see this, this is just another film like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Yogi Bear and The Smurfs where it's just made without any passion and soul and will probably make your kids dumber if they watch it. Definitely don't pay to see it in theaters like I did, don't even watch it on HBO Max, you got better things to do with your time. This is the worst kids movie I have seen since The Emoji Movie. Just stick with the old cartoons, those actually have effort put into them and those are actually funny.

GRADE:  F

FILM INFO

MPA rating: PG (for cartoon violence, rude humor and brief language)

Run time:  101 min

Release date:  February 26th, 2021

Studio:  Warner Bros. Pictures

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning - Movie Review

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is the 5th installment of the Friday the 13th franchise, and was an attempt to bring a new villain to the franchise. That's right, Jason is not the killer in this one, which the DVDs and Blu-rays really tried to hide. The film follows Tommy Jarvis, the kid played by Corey Feldman in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. This time he's more grown up, and is on his way to a halfway house for mentally damaged teens, and terror ensues from there. The film was panned by both critics and fans of the franchise, and bombed as the box office.

THE GOOD

This is far from my favorite film in the franchise, but there are things I liked about it. I found the characters in this movie highly entertaining, there's a lot of great moments with them, some of them absolutely fucking hilarious! The first kill is my favorite, despite it being offscreen (which I will fucking get into in the bad section), mainly because it just comes out of nowhere, it's hilarious and also because it was over a fucking chocolate bar! Yeah, I spoiled that, how dare I spoil a 36 year old movie! Much like the previous films, there is some good atmosphere in it. I do appreciate that this movie also moves at a quick pace. The final act is also pretty entertaining until a certain twist happens. I do like how unapologetically sleazy it is!

THE BAD

Alright, is it the absolute worst Friday the 13th movie? No, but I do think it's one of the weakest entries. Most of the kills in this movie fucking suck! Not only because they are offscreen and there's almost no gore at all, but they almost never do anything creative with them, it's mostly offscreen stabbings. The dialogue is hilariously awful, it felt like this movie was written by someone who just started learning how to write a screenplay. I get this is a cheesy 80s slasher movie but both earlier and later entries had more competent scripts than this one! Lastly, my biggest problem with the film, the fucking twist! Here we go, it is revealed at the end that the killer was a paramedic who was out for revenge for the death of the fat chocolate bar kid, and he had to dress up as Jason Voorhees in order to accomplish it. Fuck I lost brain cells just typing that shit.

CONCLUSION

This is a very disappointing Friday the 13th movie. Despite having fun characters, hilarious moments and the sheer sleaziness making it more tolerable, this film fails on giving us what we paid for. The kills most of the time are fucking lame, the writing is absolutely awful and the twist is so absolutely stupid that you would literally become dumber the moment you witness it.

GRADE:  C-

FILM INFO

MPA rating:  R (N/A)

Release date:  March 22nd, 1985

Run time:  92 min

Studio:  Paramount Pictures