I Saw the TV Glow - Movie Review

I Saw the TV Glow is a psychological horror film from A24. It follows two friends as they question reality and their identities in their connection with their favorite TV show that mysteriously gets canceled. The film was directed by Jane Schoenbrun and stars Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine.

The Review

This is a movie I never saw in theaters and I honestly don't know why I never got around to seeing it. The trailers looked fascinating and I thought it looked pretty good, maybe I was just prioritizing other movies at the time. I just saw this for the first time last night and I gotta say, this movie was really good! This isn't like other A24 horror films such as Hereditary, Midsommar, X, Pearl, Green Room, Talk to Me or anything like that, it's not fucked up, violent, gory or anything like that, it's a very atmospheric, weird and stylish horror film. There's no jump scares or scenes really at all that are trying really hard to scare you. It completely relies on the mood and the weirdness of everything going on for its horror. It's not just a good horror film, but its also a movie that does nostalgia right! The film is set in 1996 and it's a loving tribute to television back in that time, specifically shows like Are You Afraid of the Dark, Goosebumps and such. It successfully captures the feeling of nostalgia without pandering or feeling forced and desperate. I love how unapologetically odd it is too, there's tons of visual storytelling going on in this movie and the movie brings to the table lots of weird imagery that's both very creative and contributes a lot to the horror aspect. The cinematography is also fantastic, especially when it comes to style. You get your standard clean modern look which is good but you also get the 4x3 aspect ratio with the grainy box TV look like as if you are actually watching TV back in the 90s, it was all done brilliantly. The performances are wonderful too, and the characters were very well thought out! The two teenage friends the film focuses on have great chemistry with each other, and that's all thanks to a great screenplay and fantastic performances from Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine. I will say though that this isn't a film that will please everybody. This film doesn't provide clear answers to everything that goes on and leaves it up to you to interpret what it is, so if that's not your thing you will not enjoy it. I only had one issue with the film and that was some of the pacing. Very few A24 films actually have the tightest pacing and this film was no exception. There are scenes that do a bit too long, so this film could have been trimmed a bit to keep the pacing tighter.

Conclusion

So in the end I highly enjoyed I Saw the TV Glow, it was a very atmospheric, stylistically satisfying horror film with a intriguing story and tons of great, weird visuals! It was well acted, well written, all the works! If you are looking for a unique horror film that not only lacks those annoying jump scares and also uses nostalgia to its advantage, I think you'll really like it!

Grade:  A

Film info:

MPAA rating:  PG-13 (for violent content, some sexual material, thematic elements and teen drinking)

Studio:  A24

Director:  Jane Schoenbrun 

Release date:  May 17th, 2024

Run time:  100 min

Love Lies Bleeding - Movie Review

Love Lies Bleeding is a new romantic crime thriller from A24. It is directed by Rose Glass and stars Kristen Stewart and Katy O'Brian. Set in 1989, it follows a relationship between a reclusive gym manager (Kristen Stewart) and a body builder (Katy O'Brian). Their love soon turns to violence as they get pulled deep into the web of Lou's criminal family. I have done a quick review of this film on my YouTube channel nearly 2 weeks ago so I thought I would do a more detailed review through my blog.

Love Lies Bleeding is the second of two lesbian crime movies to come out this year so far, the first being the Ethan Coen directed Drive-Away Dolls, and if you saw my review of that on YouTube you would know that movie wasn't exactly what I would call good. This film is not only far superior to that, it's one of the best films of the year! This film is compelling, exciting and features fantastic chemistry between Kristen Stewart and Katy O'Brian. Rose Glass' direction is absolutely superb! This film is gritty and intense and I loved pretty much every minute of it! The performances are great all around! Kristen Stewart is really improving as an actress! She is getting much better at showing emotions when a scene needs her to and she had great romantic chemistry with Katy O'Brian. Katy O'Brian really did a great job at giving a very intense and riveting performance as a bodybuilder who is trying to achieve her life goals but ultimately finding herself trapped in a terrible situation. Ed Harris is the biggest stand out here! He gives a very cold performance as the crime boss father of Lou (Kristen Stewart's character). He stole every scene he was in and I always looked forward to every scene he popped up in. If you like lots of lesbian action in your movies this is the movie for you! You get lots of make out sessions and sex scenes, so you definitely get your moneys worth here. This movie also has bursts of action and violence that was intense, bloody and satisfying! The film also makes great use of its setting, it really feels like you're in 1989 from the dialogue, to the way it's shot, the hair styles, the vehicles people drive and the soundtrack choices.

As for flaws, there are some iffy effects here, nothing too distracting but at times they are noticeable. It's an A24 film so don't expect the film to be fast paced. The pacing didn't bother me because for me it was extremely well paced, but for people who just want a fast paced thrill ride this is not the movie for you. People may also be divided on the ending, I was a tiny bit mixed on the ending but I do believe the ending may piss some people off. 

In the end, Love Lies Bleeding was a fantastic film! It was a sweat drenched, intense and compelling love story that had the intensity I wanted out of it! It was very well acted thriller that definitely stood out as one of the best films of 2024 so far as this year has been pretty bad for movies so far! Definitely check this one out if you can, it's definitely a great watch.

Grade:  A

Movie details:

MPAA Rating: R (for violence and grisly images, sexual content, nudity, language throughout and drug use)

Production Companies: A24, Film4

Run time: 104 minutes 

Release date: March 8th, 2024

Director: Rose Glass

Writer: Rose Glass, Weronika Tofilska

The Wrong Missy - Review/RANT

The Wrong Missy is a “comedy” produced by Adam Sandler's production company Happy Madison Productions. It stars David Spade as a total dumbass (as typical for a main character for a Happy Madison movie) as he invites his dream girl out to a resort but instead a total cunt bitch that happens to have the same name as his dream girl shows up. Where do I fucking begin with this piece of shit? First of all, this movie lays on those Happy Madison tropes on thick. You name it, the main character is a dumbass retard, he gets the hot chick even though she's way out of his league, the entire movie revolves around the main character going on vacation, the villain is just as childish and stupid as the main character, you got a lot of the typical Happy Madison cast here, such as Rob Schneider and Nick Swardson, I could go on but I have a lot more bullshit to talk about. 

I have said this about that crime against humanity known as Jack and Jill, there should be a law against putting The Wrong Missy and comedy in the same sentence! To the 32% of critics on Rotten Tomatoes who gave this movie a positive review, who's rotten asshole were you smoking out of? Holy shit this movie was GARBAGE! I had to take a 20 minute break about 35 minutes in because I got so pissed off! Who the fuck finds this shit funny? Not a single joke, person or scene is funny here. David Spade, what the fuck? Before you got with Adam Sandler you were hilarious! You had great comedic chemistry with Chris Farley, you were awesome in the very underrated The Emperor's New Groove! Ever since you got with Happy Madison you went down the fucking shitter! David Spade was awful in this! He delivered his lines like he knew the material he was given was ass! Of course you got Rob Schneider who was never funny in the first place! Nick Swardson is a total dumb fuck here like he always is! 

Now we get to the absolute worst part of this trash excuse for a film, the titular “wrong missy”! She is by far the worst character ever put to film! That's saying something considering all of the garbage I have sat though all these years! She is annoying, a total cunt, and a rapist! I'm not even making that up, there is attempted rape in this film! Fuck sakes, in Jack and Jill we had both Jill and Al Pacino being total creeps, in Pixels we had Josh Gad being an annoying dumbass and a creep, now we have this dumb bitch being an annoying whore and a rapist! Happy Madison Productions, just do everyone a favor and fuck off!

This is a film that gave me a headache and made me shaky because of how angry it made me. I actually wanted to punch a wall because of how bad this movie was! I have to apologize to movies such as You People and Rough Night, those screenplays are nowhere near as bad as this shit was! Fist Fight, Dirty Grandpa, Dirty Love and The Hottie and the Nottie are still worse than this but this is easily one of the worst written comedies I have ever seen in my entire fucking life! I don't know how Netflix thought this was worthy of greenlighting. Oh wait, it's because Adam Sandler is their cash cow and will put out any garbage he produces because Happy Madison movies bring in large streaming numbers for them! It's pretty sad how in these times this garbage is still able to succeed.

Continuing on with the many awful things I can say about this cinematic abortion, as with many Happy Madison movies, it's a film that cost a whole lot of money to make but it doesn't show on the screen. Seriously, where did all that money go? Was it for the cast and crew to take that luxurious vacation? I and many others have asked this, how does a vacation filled with many unfunny hijinks and jokes count as a movie? Why do these movies have bigger budgets than a lot of the big action blockbusters? Guillermo del Toro movies cost way less money than many Happy Madison projects, it's absolutely ridiculous! The direction is not good either, the director couldn't get a good performance out of an actor to save his life. The cinematography is typical for a Happy Madison film. 

So in the end, The Wrong Missy is nothing short of a trainwreck! I never thought I would say this, but I finally found a Happy Madison film that's worse than Jack and Jill! Just thinking about this movie makes my blood pressure run sky high. This is a film for retards! If you see this shit on Netflix, skip it at all costs! Don't waste 90 minutes of your time on this shit, it's not worth it!

Grade:  F

Film Info

Production Companies:  Netflix, Happy Madison Productions

Run time:  90 min

Release date:  May 13th, 2020

Director:  Tyler Spindel

Writer:  Chris Pappas, Kevin Barnett

The Worst Films of 2023

 

This is my first legitimate blog entry in quite some time. I did a video version of this list back in December 2023 and I thought I would make a blog version that goes into more detail. 2023 was a strange year for films. The first half of the year was excellent, we had many excellent films and big surprises such as John Wick: Chapter 4, Cocaine Bear, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Theives, M3GAN, and many others. Then of course some stinkers came along and the second half of the year was particularly bad with disappointment after disappointment and bad film after bad film. In this blog entry I am going into the many bad films 2023 had to offer. Before I start ripping the 10 worst of 2023 a new ass, I have several dishonorable mentions that I will name and briefly describe why they are there.

The Marvels, the latest film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is among one of Dylan Goebel's picks for the worst films of 2023.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania: This installment of the MCU featured mediocre performances from most of the cast, particularly Michael Douglas, Bill Murray and Michelle Pfeiffer, absolutely awful visual effects and a very unexciting story with action that doesn't really do anything to stand out among the rest of the MCU.

Leave the World Behind: A dreadfully boring post-apocalyptic drama-thriller that is not riveting nor thrilling. There is nothing interesting about the story or characters, and this movie does what a ton of movies do these days, which is promoting racial divide for the sake of political brownie points.

Five Nights at Freddy's: While this adaptation of the popular mobile video game franchise pleases a surprising number of fans, I could not see the appeal. As a horror film it was seriously lacking as the movie mainly focused on a child custody battle and a little girl befriending the animatronics and spending a large chunk of the nearly 2 hour run time witnessing her playing with them instead of developing a sense of anxiety and dread which was what made the games so enjoyable in the first place.

Peter Pan & Wendy: The Disney live-action remakes strike again with this visually dull and utterly unimaginative retelling of the Peter Pan story. Captain Hook isn't a menacing or interesting villain here, he's just a generic villain with mommy issues. Peter Pan is so boring here, and Wendy is turned into the "strong female lead" for the "modern audience". Give me a break.

65:  This could have been a fun popcorn film. How do you manage to make a movie where Adam Driver is fighting dinosaurs boring? This movie found a way to make that possible.

Meg 2: The Trench: 2023 was not a good year for Jason Statham, not only did he star in the worst film of 2023, he starred in this trash sequel to a film that was just okay. The trailers for this movie promised a dumb fun action movie and you do get that...for 30 minutes. The rest is pure boredom.

You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah: How did this get a 91% on Rotten Tomatoes? This was a painfully unfunny and predictable teen comedy that I couldn't stand sitting through.

White Men Can't Jump: A pointless and unfunny remake. At least it was on Disney+ so people couldn't wait their hard earned money on it.

Magic Mike's Last Dance: Let's hope this is his last dance because this was a horribly dull experience. Remember how the first film was about getting money and women? This one was nothing but a boring romantic dramedy.

The Little Mermaid: Yet another bad Disney remake. This is an ugly looking film that lacks the charm, entertainment value and great story telling of the original.  Don't get me started on Awkwafina!

See the complete list of my dishonorable mentions in the video version on YouTube! Link is below!

https://youtu.be/ePegEHHFpC8?si=-HYxcLKjkn5EHIY0

Now for the main event! The top 10 Worst Films of 2023!

10. AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is an absolute mess of a film with horrendous dialogue, poor story structure and awful performances from everyone in the cast. The action sequences are high on energy but low on excitement, stakes and thrills. The film has more plots than The Amazing Spider-Man 2, it tries to be a buddy comedy, a revenge story, a superhero movie and an epic adventure film and it not only fails at every single one, but the structure is so awful that it becomes horribly incoherent. So what Amber Heard isn't in it much, at least the first movie was fun, had exciting action and for the most part had decent performances. It's easily the worst of the DC films to come out in 2023 and the worst one since Wonder Woman 1984.

9. WISH

Generic, unfunny, and worst of all, boring! Those are the perfect words to describe Disney's latest animated film! Wish is a horrible excuse for a 100th anniversary celebration for Disney as it confuses constant references and Easter eggs for a real story. The characters are empty and forgettable. The songs are lame and lack the energy and passion of songs from previous modern Disney films such as Moana, Encanto and Frozen. The animation style also didn't work for me, it's a combination of 2D and 3D animation and the end result looks pretty bad. I liked the style the first time I saw it, it was called The Peanuts Movie.

8. INSIDIOUS: THE RED DOOR

Yes, the latest in the Insidious franchise is on my worst of the year list. Patrick Wilson stars in this and also directed this monstrosity, not exactly the best debut in directing. This is a film that not only lacks effective scares and even entertainment value, it doesn't really have a plot. Most of the movie is reuniting with the characters from the first 2 films and constantly reminding the audience of what went on in those films. The best thing I can say about The Red Door is that it reminded me of better films in the franchise.

7. DICKS: THE MUSICAL 

It baffles me that not only A24 released this utter garbage, but that Larry Charles directed this, the same guy who gave us some absolute comedy gems such as Borat, Bruno and The Dictator. This is one of the worst comedies I've ever seen in my life, and it's the worst musical since Cats! The songs are annoying and horribly produced, every single person in the cast are terrible beyond belief. It's also a rip-off of The Parent Trap, no joke, it has the exact same plot! The only difference here is the twins are men instead of young girls and they are both total douchebags. It also has the worst ending of any movie in 2023. (Spoiler Alert if you give a shit) The movie ends with the twin brothers (who are established as womanizers) confessing their love for each other, having sex and getting married. I wish I was making that up but I'm being completely serious.

6. REBEL MOON

You better start coping hard Snyder cultists, because Rebel Moon was complete and total ass! This movie is a rip-off of a bunch of sci-fi movies such as Star Wars, Dune, Heavy Metal, and the story is so messy and poorly told you'll lose brain cells just trying to make sense of it. I will say the action and the visuals are not that bad, but when you have a movie this stupid, boring and nonsensical, what couple of positives it may have won't even matter. You can polish a turd, but in the end it is still a turd.

5. THE MARVELS

If you know me, or have watched my YouTube channel for some time, you would know that Thor: Love & Thunder was the bottom of the barrel for the MCU. That all changed when I saw The Marvels. This movie is without question the laziest, most poorly written and awfully edited movie in the history of the MCU. This movie is a failure on nearly every level. The action sequences are dull and the comedy is cringe to an extreme level. I never thought we would ever get to the point in the MCU where we would have a portion of the movie take place on a planet where people only communicate in song. Captain Marvel does show a bit more emotion this time around but she is still a highly uninteresting character. Ms. Marvel is the one thing I liked in this movie. I sure hope Deadpool & Wolverine is good, because I don't think I have seen a good franchise fall from grace this hard.

4. FAMILY SWITCH

Why are we trying to bring back the early to mid 2000s shitty family comedy? This isn't even one that's fun to talk about like Playing with Fire, this movie was a massive waste of time. This was a tedious film where its cast are phoning it in, I don't blame them because the material they were given was total garbage. If you have Netflix find something else to watch because this one is not worth your time.

3. YOU PEOPLE

Introducing the film with the worst screenplay of the year! Jonah Hill wrote and stars in this trash! Jonah Hill and Lauren London have the worst chemistry in the history of romantic comedies! Their chemistry was so awful their kissing scenes were done with CGI. The comedy was atrocious, not one scene, joke or line was funny. What baffles me is that Jonah Hill wrote this, and he's capable of writing good stuff, he wrote Mid90s, which was one of the best coming-of-age films in recent years, and that film was actually funny. This film also wastes Eddie Murphy, who gave the worst performance of his career since Beverly Hills Cop 3. The romantic comedy isn't exactly the most respected genre around but I assure you they don't get any worse than this.

2. THE EXORCIST: BELIEVER

The Exorcist: Believer is the 2nd worst film of 2023, and for a good reason. It was unbelievably BORING! The film's first hour is basically Prisoners but without the compelling story and riveting performances, then when the "Exorcist" stuff finally happens, it's the most generic demonic possession bullshit.  Ellen Burstyn shows up, because of course, she was in the original. What was her role in the film? She was only there to spew exposition and then get stabbed in the eyes by one of the possessed girls. That's not even the worst part! There's a scene where she explains the reason why the priests in the original film wouldn't let her witness the exorcism. If you have seen the original film you would know that it was because it was too dangerous for her and she could have been killed. According to this film, it was because of the patriarchy. Fuck this movie! David Gordon Green if this is what we have to expect from your horror movies please stop! Thank God you stepped down from the sequel!

1. EXPENDABLES 4

Remember the novelty of a bunch of 80s action stars teaming up to kick a bunch of ass? I thought it was gone when The Expendables 3 came out but I really came to realize that with this crime against cinema. Very few of the Expendables came back, so what was the point? Money? It backfired because it bombed! The action was easily the worst in the franchise, it was choppy and poorly staged. The visual effects were some of the most embarrassing ever put in a big budget film! If you want to see some of the most obvious green screen and the worst CGI gore? Look no further than Expendables 4! This cost $100 million to make! Where did that money go? Nothing was believable here, like Megan Fox as the leader of the team? Give me a break! How they reveal how Barney survived the explosion that supposedly killed him was nothing short of retarded! Avoid this film like the plague! It is without question the worst film of 2023!

Thanks for reading! My blog has made a return, I'll be doing this and reviews on YouTube at the same time! Consider my blog early access to movie reviews and top 10s!

I'm Not Ashamed is a WOKE trash movie!!

I'm Not Ashamed tells the story of Rachel Scott, a Christian teen girl who was murdered at Columbine High School back on April 20th, 1999. When I watched this movie I was expecting a movie about a girl in a school shooting, but NOOOOO that would actually be entertaining! What I got instead was a bunch of Jesus nonsense and WOKE GARBAGE!!! If I wanted to hear Jesus talk, I would have wasted my time being bored in Church, and if I wanted WOKENESS, I would have watched something on Disney+ and Netflix! This movie was full of unnecessary diversity, like Rachel being friends with someone who is obviously a dyke??!! Sorry but that's not realistic, she would have bullied her! Absolutely ridiculous! Bring back homophobia in our cinema! This movie was ass! It didn't even recreate the whole shooting! This movie would have been way more entertaining if they did.

Anyways this movie was trash and I give it a big fat F!!