So if you can tell from a smaller review I made for this movie, I really fucking hate this movie, a lot! It is the worst superhero movie I have ever seen! I know people think there is worse out there, (such as Batman & Robin, Steel, Catwoman, Superman IV, Elektra, etc.) and while those were bad movies, those movies actually had something in them that was somewhat entertaining! Not this movie! This movie has nothing at all that was entertaining to offer! All this movie really has is boring dialogue between characters that take place in dark rooms! This was an awful adaptation of the Fantastic Four, and even if the movie itself was good, it still would have still been an awful adaptation because the Fantastic Four is not supposed to be a dark, brooding story, it is supposed to be cheesy, humorous and fun! The previous two films nailed that shit! None of the actors (who happen to be good actors by the way) put in any energy in their performances, because the script is so bad, and so dull, that they didn't have anything to work with! I heard rumors that the director was drunk off his ass while making this movie and also didn't show up to production half the time, and yes, when you watch the movie, you can see that! There is only so much incompetence I can take when it comes to watching movies! Wanna know something people? The filmmaking is so lazy in this movie, that it kinda reminded me of the infamous film, "The Room". Difference is, "The Room" was hilarious, and entertaining because of that, this movie was fucking boring and had no personality! Let's talk about the visual effects here in this atrocity, yeah, very few of them actually look decent! The only thing decent in terms of visual effects in this movie is when it has to do with The Thing. There were a couple times where the CGI on The Thing was half way decent, other than that, the visuals were terrible! The final act is where the visuals really got bad! When the team fights the villain, there is not only really terrible CGI, but the green screen was horrendously noticeable! And when I saw this turd in theaters, I saw it in 3D, and the 3D made the effects look even worse! I just watched this piece of fantastic shit on Netflix to do this in-depth review, and while the effects still looked like garbage, the 3D did make it worse! Let's talk about the action sequences, yes, there is only one in the entire movie! And the action sequence was what made the movie even worse! Because of the uninspired acting and the awful visuals! You don't care about what is going on while the action is going on because the movie never gives you a reason to care throughout it's 100 minute run time! That's one thing I have to mention, the movie is only 100 minutes long, just under 2 hours, but the movie feels like 4 hours! This movie is so BORING!!! Nothing ever happens! The movie's pacing sucks! There is no structure to it, there is no transition, no flow, this movie's editing is shit! This movie, I swear to god, doesn't have a second act! It only has a first and third act. The first act is building a teleportation device and the third is getting their powers and also being jam packed with pointless shit! Now let's talk about the team itself and the villain. The team doesn't feel like the Fantastic Four. They don't have any chemistry between them. They are known as Marvel's first family, but they certainly don't feel like it! All you feel through this movie is that of that they seem to hate each other. Mr. Fantastic (the stretchy guy) and The Thing (the rock monster) are supposed to be best friends! But, in this movie, The Thing is begging for the help of Mr. Fantastic, but Mr. Fantastic is a dick and just leaves him in the military base and stays gone for a year! That's another thing, the time laps in this movie are fucking awful! The villain is by far the worst part of this movie! Doctor Doom (the villain for the very few of you who don't know), looks like a chrome mummy! He looks like a Comic Con costume, not a professional movie villain! His powers aren't right in this movie, and oh my god, his motive is bullshit, because he has no motive! He has no reason for doing what he does at the end of the movie! FUCK!!! This movie is a fucking trainwreck disaster! I wish Fox would give Fantastic Four back to Marvel, so we can finally get a good Fantastic Four movie. Do yourself a favor and never watch this movie, it's pure garbage! I thought there would never be a superhero movie more boring and more tedious than Ang Lee's Hulk movie, but I was wrong! Fantastic Four takes the cake for worst superhero movie of all time!
Pros:
None
Cons:
Terrible pacing
Lack of excitement and action
Terrible action when it finally happens
Bad performances from good actors
Zero chemistry between characters
Atrocious visuals
Doctor Doom
Grade: F
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and language
Run time: 100 mins
Studio: Twentieth Century Fox, Marvel Entertainment
