Showgirls (1995) review

Showgirls is an interesting movie to talk about about.  It is a guilty pleasure for many but it is also considered to be one of the worst movies ever made!  And for me, it's a guilty pleasure!  I love watching this movie simply because it is better softcore porn than Fifty Shades of Grey and it is directed by Paul Verhoeven, who also directed RoboCop, Starship Troopers and Total Recall, 3 of my favourite action movies of all time!  This is also the only NC-17 rated film to be in theaters worldwide to my knowledge.  This movie is filled with glorious nudity, raunchy sex scenes, (there is a sex scene that takes place in a pool and holy fuck it is crazy, but hilarious!)  The dialogue in this movie is hilariously cheesy!  I absolutely love this movie!  If you are able to find a copy on Blu-ray, get it, it is some of the finest guilty pleasure entertainment out there!

Grade: A+
Run time: 131 min
MPAA:  Rated NC-17 for nudity and erotic sexuality throughout, and for some graphic language and sexual violence
Studio: MGM

Monster Trucks - review

Monster Trucks is a new kids movie co-produced by Nickelodeon! It's about a teenage boy who finds a monster and befriends it. The monster ends up becoming the engine of a truck and the boy must try to get the monster back to it's family. Yeah, not very original, but how is the movie in general? It was fun! I liked the characters, the action scenes in this movie were surprisingly really good and yeah, this was an all around good time! I thought the 3D went really well with this movie too! I have one thing to mention though, the two main characters, they are supposed to be teenagers! I had to call bullshit on that because not only are they too old to be playing teenagers, but they actually look too old to be playing teenagers too! The villain was as silly as a villain in this kind of movie would get. When the action happens, sometimes it gets so extreme that I think this movie has one massive body count! Because when all the monster truck destruction and mayhem happens, property is getting damaged, cars are getting crushed, and I think people are present during those scenes, so yeah, I think lots of people die in this movie! Overall, Monster Trucks is an entertaining popcorn flick that people will enjoy, mainly kids! I liked this movie, I will be buying this movie when it's released on Blu-ray for sure!

Grade: B+
Run time: 104 min
MPAA:  Rated PG for action, peril, brief scary images and some rude humor

Studio: Paramount Pictures

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter - review

Holy shit, we are finally at the fucking end! I just watched this at the Melville theater last night and holy shit I have stuff to talk about! This movie is garbage! While not the worst Resident Evil movie (that still goes to the first film!) it is still really bad just like every movie before this! This movie has really bad acting, unconvincing CGI, and really, REALLY AWFUL ACTION SEQUENCES! What makes the action even worse is that almost this movie's entire run time is action sequence after action sequence! And if you choose to see this piece of shit, DO NOT SEE THIS IN 3D!!!! Why? Because all the shaky cam and constant quick cut action in this movie will make you feel sick! The first 15 minutes of the movie is the biggest Mad Max: Fury Road rip-off I have ever seen! There are SO MANY jump scares! I almost walked out of this fucker! I have never came close to walking out of a theater since I saw Fantastic Four (2015)! At least Resident Evil 2-5 were entertaining in a so bad it's good kind of way! This is almost as unwatchable as the original film! The only thing that saves this movie from being the worst in the franchise is that this movie is far more fast paced and entertaining than the original! This movie at the end also makes the biggest fuck you to the fans of the video games I have ever seen! I won't spoil it but if you see this movie, you will find out! This is by far the worst film of 2017 so far!

Grade: F
Run time: 106 min
MPAA:  Rated R for sequences of violence throughout
Studio: Sony/Screen Gems

A Cure for Wellness - review

So A Cure for Wellness is a film directed by Gore Verbinski (who also directed the first 3 Pirates of the Caribbean films, and also directed other movies like The Lone Ranger, Rango and The Ring) and this film is about a young business executive who goes to a wellness center to retrieve his company's CEO, but soon realizes that what happens at that wellness center may not be as good as he thought. Now critics are always complaining about not getting original movies put to theaters, but somehow whenever Hollywood actually puts out an original movie, they trash it. This is one of those occasions, it currently has a 38% on Rotten Tomatoes. Do I agree with the critics? No, I don't! I wish I saw this in theaters, but because I couldn't, I watched it on one of those things where you can watch any movie you want on it, I forgot what the fuck those are called, but yeah, and i got surprisingly good quality on it too. But anyways, yeah, I thought this was a very well done, and pretty great movie! It's weird, it's interesting all the way through, and it is masterfully edited and shot! This is a movie that requires you to think, and pay complete attention! This is also a very long movie too, it's about 2 and a half hours long. Well, Logan was that long too but that was a much faster movie than this. The run time can be a problem for a lot of people too because you do feel the run time of this movie, it's not a fast paced movie! Also, if you are easily disturbed, do not watch this movie, there is rape, tons of really bizarre violence with blood, and other demented shit like that! A Cure for Wellness is a tough movie to talk about, this movie really makes you think a lot, which is one of my favourite things about this movie! I do however recommend seeing this movie if you want to see an original movie that is weird, demented and overall really good!

Grade: A

Run time: 146 min

MPAA:  Rated R for disturbing violent content and images, sexual content including an assault, graphic nudity and language

Studio: Twentieth Century Fox

Logan - review

So Logan is the new R-rated Marvel movie and is supposedly the last time Hugh Jackman will be playing Wolverine. This movie tells the story of Wolverine in a post-apocalyptic world, and he is old, beaten and done with life completely! And he ends up being obligated to protect this little mutant girl who doesn't really need protection. And even Professor Xavier tags along on the journey! So how is this movie? Honestly, this is now my favourite Marvel movie to date! That's right, I liked this even more than Deadpool, and that is saying a lot! This movie is packed with some of the best action I have ever seen in a Marvel movie! By the way, remember how bloody the violence in Deadpool was? Well this movie tops it by a long shot! Logan makes Deadpool look PG-13 by comparison! There is TONS of blood and gore, tons of dismemberment, all that good stuff! And I LOVED it! This is also a very emotional movie too, it's not one of those constantly humorous Marvel movies, this is a very dark, emotional movie! Everyone gives great performances in this film too. This is my favourite portrayal of Wolverine from Hugh Jackman, it is fucking incredible! Patrick Stewart is once again amazing as Professor Xavier, and the girl who plays the little girl, her name in the movie is X-23, holy fuck she was a badass! When she fights alongside with Wolverine, it is some of the best bloody mayhem you could ever ask for! This is not your typical superhero movie either, there is no big CGI bad guys in this, there is no colorful costumes, nothing like that! This is more like a straight up action movie than anything, and also happens to be VERY rated R! So in the end, is Logan my favourite movie of 2017 so far, oh, absolutely! And that is saying something because The Lego Batman Movie and John Wick 2 were both incredible too! I will be reviewing those too sometime in the future!

Grade: A+

Run time: 141 min

MPAA:  Rated R for strong brutal violence and language throughout, and brief nudity

Studio:  Twentieth Century Fox

Suicide Squad review

Suicide Squad, one of everyone's most anticipated superhero movies of 2016 only because the Joker was in the trailer!  The film stars Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jared Leto, Jai Courtney, Ben Affleck, and many more!  I can't really explain what the plot is because this movie doesn't really have one.  Which is one of the movie's many negatives.  But I will start with the positives, because there is a few.  First of all, I found the squad to be quite likable, especially Deadshot, Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang.  Some of the action sequences were pretty well done, and there is a part during the final act that I thought was the coolest moment in the entire movie!  It involves Diablo and trust me, it is fucking awesome!  There is also a pretty great moment involving Batman and Harley Quinn, I personally found it pretty hilarious!  And the black woman in this movie, I forgot her name, but wow, if she was the real villain in this movie, she would have been the best villain in the DC Extended Universe so far!  Now for the negatives, because I have quite a few!  First of all, the person who leads the squad is really bland!  The editing in the movie sometimes is quite bad, it felt really choppy!  The main villain in this movie sucks ass!  She wasn't Lex Luthor bad, but she was by far the blandest villain these movies have had so far!  And although Diablo was quite awesome during the movie's final act, he does almost nothing throughout the rest of the movie leading to that scene, and I know that the movie provided a reason why, but I still wish he would have done more!  And besides the first 20 minutes of this movie, having the Joker in this movie was pretty pointless, because he serves absolutely no purpose in this movie after Harley Quinn's backstory is over with!   Now I have to answer this question that everyone has been asking, why are critics and audiences hating on these DC Extended Universe movies?  Well, it's because DC is trying to be Marvel!  Because people are loving the MCU movies (including me), DC is trying to do the same thing and they are failing so far.  Overall, Suicide Squad is okay, it's not good but it's not bad either.

Grade: C+
Run time: 123 min
MPAA:  PG-13 for sequences of violence and action throughout, disturbing behavior, suggestive content and language
Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures